Friday, May 28, 2010

Why smart kids fail

Why do smart kids fail? This paradox is often poorly understood, because at face value, someone who is smart should have the best changes to succeed. At face value yes. Taken out of context. Taken out of the environment the child grows up in.

Here is the rub, the smart kid has to grow up in a world that is ruled by mediocrity. At best. Often, the lowest common denominator rules. Take classes. Classes are geared to wards the large blop in the middle. The large blop of kids that are doing fine, but not exceptional. And in that class is a kid that is much smarter. What happens to such a kid?

He or she gets bored. Bored to death. Most things are so easy that s/he often has not even to work for it. I remember that I systematically did not make my chemistry homework. Why? Well, the teacher would ask several students to each write the answer of a assignment at the blackboard in front of the class room. Well, if I was one of the 'lucky' ones, I just would take the book, read the assignment while walking to the front and write down the answer, correct of course. Luckily for me, I was not that good with every subject, and I definitely needed to study hard on others which saved me later in life.

Why did it save me? Well, if everything comes really easy, there is one skill you never learn. And that is to put effort in things. Putting effort in things to achieve things is something you have to learn. And if you are really smart, it will take a long time till you encounter something that will require you to put effort in. And till that day comes, life is easy.

But that day comes, sooner or later. For me it came soon, as my dyslexia forced me to put tremendous effort in learning languages. But when it does not come early, or not in sufficient strength, you are doomed.

Once it arrives, many very smart kids can mask the issue with their intelligence. People around them do not notice that they are struggling, because they use all kind of smart tricks to outsmart the world around them. And they can keep doing that for a long time.

Unfortunately, most of these kids eventually encounter something that cannot be done easily or masked. And that is crushing time. Because they are so used to get everything so easy, it easily becomes an ego crushing experience. Used to be able to do things so easy, a failure is not an option. Well, at least they have never learned to deal with failure, because they just haven't experienced those. And if everything else goes well, why not just walk away from it. Ignore it. There are so many things that do go well, it is not really a problem. Most of the time.

But the first failure, and the inability to deal with it set the tone for future encounters. Instead of learning how to put effort in things, they feel crushed and avoid dealing with it. And the first times, it works. And the second time it works. Etcetera. Till? Till the day they encounter something they cannot ignore. That is the day the get stuck. Now knowing how to put effort in things, they are caught like a deer in the headlights. They have no idea how to handle it.

From here is goes rapidly downhill. Things need to be done, but the inability to do them just result in a repeated failure to do what needs to be done. And the smart kid that once soared through life on his or her intelligence crumbles. Each time s/he fails one time more, each time s/he fails, s/he looses a small part of her/himself, of her/his confidence, ofher/his self esteem.

By now, the smart kid has become an insecure, self doubting kid wondering every day why s/he cannot do things easy. And s/he starts avoiding those things s/he doubts s/he can do. This is when the world around her/him starts labelling the kid as lazy, uninterested, dumb. etc. Yes, dumb, because our smart kid is avoiding everything, fearful of failing one again. And so the cycle continues.

It is far more difficult to raise a smart kid than an average kid. In order to succeed, the smart kid needs to learn that not everything comes just like that. And how do you do that? Some schools have special programs for smart kids. Not all programs are good, but with the right approach, these programs can help gifted children. Those are the lucky once, because they learn that they sometimes need to put effort in things. The bigger question is how to help the unlucky once, those that are failing over and over again because they basically haven't learned to deal with disappointments. I do not know that answer yet, but I do know that it will take a lot of effort to teach those kids how to put effort in things.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Judge orders Rekers rectification: He is bisexual

George Rekers wants to go after the various media outlets that reported that he was gay. Well, I think he actually will have a good change that he is awarded a rectification. Unfortunately, I also think it might be worse than not fighting it. Because I think the court-ordered rectification will be something along the line of:
Rectification: Our reporting of the George Rekers case and the male escort was erroneous. Dr. George Rekers is not homosexual, he is bisexual.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Luggage: the latest synonym for the male sexual organ.....

Am I the only one who is wondering what exactly is meant when George Rekers is saying he rented a male prostitute to carry his 'luggage'? Dirty mind immediately remembered a old cartoon I saw years ago of a man coming to the doctors office. "Doctor, I have a problem" Doctor: "Well, let me see it." At which the man opens his coat and a huge dick falls out....

Unfortunately, I cannot find the cartoon back on the internets......

Monday, May 3, 2010

Legal bigamy: The American Way

Yesterday, it dawned to me. You can get legally married to two people in the United States because of DOMA. The scenario is simple:
  1. You marry someone of the same sex in one of the states that does recognize them.
  2. You move to a state that does not recognize same-sex marriages, so you are officially unmarried.
  3. Because you are officially not married, you can marry someone of the opposite sex.
  4. Move back to the state that recognizes the same-sex marriage.
It is just waiting till three people try this and see if they can get away with it. I guarantee you, it will be a major news item.....

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Satire: Rapist Family Therapy

Recently, I thought of a funny skit-like situation. For your enjoyment.

Judge: Ma'am, could you please tell the court what happened that faithful evening in the park.

Victim: Thank you Judge. I was walking through the park in the evening with Charlie, my Chihuahua, when this creep came out of the scrub and forced me into the bushes and forced me to have (gulp) .... to have..... to ... (weeping uncontrollably)

Judge: Sex?

Victim nods.

Judge: Ok Sir, what is your story?

Rapist: Well Sir, you know, I was waiting in the bushes for some hot chicks to come by. It is amazing how willingly they want to have sex with me once they have joined me ion the bushes. It is a nice private spot, and the women just love it. Miss (nudges to the victim) there was dressed like she really wanted to have sex in the park.

Judge: Ok, I see. Sounds like you two should talk with a counsellor together to figure out what you two want. I see you back as soon as you have reached agreement on what is mutually acceptable.

Victim: What? No way?

Judge: Ma'am, should I hold you in contempt of court? Would a week of jail help to make you go?

Victim (cowering) O, no your honour? I am sorry.

Rapist: Thank you judge!

(Counsellors office)
Counsellor: Sir, this woman claims you sexually abused her?

Rapist: No, it wasn't rape, she was scarcely dressed, so she wanted sex. That is not sexual abuse?

Victim: What? I did not want to have sex. My goodness, I never have sex with men, they disgust me.

Rapist: See, she is in denial. She just needs some good sex and she will like it all righthy...

(Victim starts crying)

Counsellor: Ok, I get the picture. Do you think we can find a middle ground between the two extreme points of view. What about oral sex, but not penetration with the penis? With that, you both win in part, and that is just the best way.... Don't you agree?