I play a kind of tit-for-tat game with them.
Missionary: Have you heard the word of god?
Me: Which god
Missionary: The christian god of course.
Me: Yes, I heard it and deemed it false
Missionary (shocked): But he is the true god!
Me: Says who?
Missionary: The Holy Bible!
Me: O. Interesting. My holy books say something else.
Missionary: But the bible says....
Me (interrupting): Why is the bible right and my holy books wrong?
Missionary: Well, the Bible says [fill in what ever]
Me: My holy books say the same, so why is your book right and mine wrong?
Missionary: Well, the Bible says [fill in something else]
[repeat 20 times] WARNING: Missionary is slowly reaching cooking temperature, do not touch. Replace bible for deity of choice when appropriate.
Missionary: It seems that you are lost for God.
Me: I am sorry that you are lost for Odin!
Missionary: I am sure you will see the light in the future!
Me: I have seen the light already, and I hope you will see the light in the future!
Missionary: I will pray for you!
Me: I will make a small offering to my gods for you later today! Any preference for Odin, Thor or Freyja?
Missionary (on his/her way out): God Bless!
Me: Hail Odin!
Missionary (screaming): The blood of Jesus will protect me......
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