Cognitive dissonance: Oppose gay-marriage because children of unmarried couples fare less than from married couples....

One of the main arguments against gay marriage that we hear over and over again is that it is bad for the children raised by same-sex couples. Well, opposing same-sex marriage is not going to change that those children are raised by same-sex couples, whether their parents are married or not.

When pressed why it is bad for the children, the argument often is comparatively, namely that children living in unmarried families, like single mothers, unmarried co-habiting parents, step-parents, etc fare less good than children from happy married couples.

Every time I hear this argument, I am stunned by the inane stupidity of the argument. This argument is the prime argument to promote same-sex marriage. Because if their parents would be allowed to marry, the children should be better of? Not?

Well, if you press them on the details, what you find out is that they try to link two arguments. One is the one I just described, the second is that a child needs a father and a mother, and the link they want to make is that same-sex couples can never offer a mother and a father, and thus need to be compared to the unmarried and single parents trying to raise kids.

Unfortunately, the second argument has already been shot down by social science research, which shows that children raised by functional same-sex couples are equally or even better off than children of married heterosexual couples.

if we combine these, allowing same-sex parents to marry is actually going to help their children. Maybe that is where they are afraid for..... Maybe they are afraid to look incompetent because the kids of the gays are actually doing better......

Will the same-sex marriages haters risk a ruling that will affect the whole nation?

Today, the ruling on the prop 8 trial will be announced. The same-sex marriage haters have already filed a motion for a stay of the decision pending appeal if the case is going to be ruled in favor of the plaintiffs. Based on the specifics of the motion wording, you can bet it is a win for US!

So, appeal. The current ruling ONLY affects California, and leaves the rest of the country out of the loop. A loss at the appeal court would widen this to a loss for a whole range of states: Alaska, Arizona, California, Hawaii, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon and Washington. and of course, if they appeal it to the US supreme court, it would affect the whole nation.

So, if they want to slow down how many states (have to) recognize same-sex marriages, they would be far better of to not appeal and give away California. Why? There case was a disaster. At the appeals court, they cannot bring new arguments. So, the case will be decided pretty much based on what is now on the record. And that record is, well, shitty at least. Maybe better to qualify it as non-existing.

So, what would be the alternative? Let it stand. Throw California under the train and move on. Because this means that if another gay couple in one of the other states of the union finally wants to be treated as a full citizen, they have to start their own case. With their own lawyer, their own witnesses etc. And this gives the haters one MAJOR opportunity. Time to prepare themselves better. To have real experts. And maybe they will be lucky to find a judge who is more activist and willing to impose his own conservative dogma on the case.

Of course, some day, some case will reach the US supreme court. It can be sooner if they appeal now, or maybe later if they take the loss of one state and try to build a more solid case in the next court battle. The later would be a better strategy, because it they get more favorable evidence into the records, they actually will have a higher change of winning when they finally reach the US supreme court.

But rest assured, they won't be this smart. If their performance at the trial is a indicator, they are so convinced they are right that they are willing to risk it all, just to be right! You almost would think they are actually in favor of same-sex marriage.

And because of that, we have to thank them for helping our cause. So, please, file an appeal and help us to finally ride this country of a grave injustice!

The Power of the GAYS!

In Mississippi, how backward do you want to go, a school board rather cancelled the prom for EVERYBODY than to allow a same sex couple to attend. Whoow,how far do you want to go with your hatred. I hope the federal judge will issue a preliminary ruling soon so that the school can stick their homophobia up their own ass (sodomy is nowadays legal in Mississippi after Lawrence v. Texas).

Maybe we as a community can show how it is done, and that we organize a prom for the kids there, all inclusive for everybody. That would be the best response possible.

He heterosexuals, we feel you pain.

Yesterday, the Catholic Charities in Washington DC removed the health benefits for new employees in order to be able to deny same-sex couples from having the same. Basically, they extended the anti-gay bigotry to their heterosexual employees just so they could stay within their religious doctrine. That is their good right, but it tells me one thing. Those heterosexuals now feel what we are feeling all along, religion LIMITS your rights. I want to say to them, welcome to the club of lesser than people.

Security breach in US military

Rick Santorum (Repukeian) thinks that the US military commanders have been indoctrinated to support the repeal of the discriminatory "Don's ask, don't tell" policy.

Take a minute to let that sink in.






I repeat what he is saying:






US military officers indoctrinated

Really. I think if that is true, that the US defence is incredible vulnerable. Why, because it means that any foreign nation or terrorist group can indoctrinate these people. And some of them have far better indoctrination techniques available than the average gay with an agenda.

Reality is, they are not indoctrinated, but actually people who see that the policy is discriminatory and want it removed. They are the people who have to worry about losing Arabic translators because of the policy. They see it is hurting the US defence to kick people out because of their sexual orientation.

Marriage and Gay Reality Check

Someone can only control you if you let them to. If we gays and lesbians hide away, that is what they want. They do not want to see us, and that is why they try to deny us access to as much as possible. But if we look at it, does it really change reality?

So, a reality check about gay and lesbians:

1. We exist. Whether we can marry or not, we exist and your children will hear about us. Weather you like it or not. because we exist. Unless you patrol EVERYTHING your children hear, read and see. Yeah, that is right, you home-school them, transport them in a blinded car to and from church and the parents of friends have to go through a solid vetting process so that the tender souls of your first born is not affected by knowing about those evil homosexuals.
   
2. We have sex. Does anybody really think you can prevent people from having sex. We have sex, and even when the sodomy laws where in place, sodomy occurred. And better, lesbians could just fuck each other anyway, and they do not commit sodomy in the first place. And yes, we know that you really would like to have that threesome with us, but sorry, you first have to chop of your dick before I even start contemplating whether I have you in my bed.
   
3. We have relationships. Duh. Ever tried to tell your kid they cannot see their boyfriend because you don't like him? Did it work? Really, you checked when she was at school, hanging out with friends etc? Yes, you did? Whow, I am sure you think you are a good parent. I think you are a despot.
   
4. We live together. Duh again.
5. We have children. Really, it is not that difficult to score some sperm somewhere, and in the worst case scenario, I think I could manage to get laid by a guy in a different city. Okay, I need a drink or 5 (2make me tipsy, 3rather drunk, 4 I about pass out, and 5, he can have fun) but heck, father unknown (I was to drunk) and me happy. And the child, s/he will have two of the most awesome mommies in the world. Unlike those from fighting, abusing, divorced, alcoholic, addicted and/or absent heterosexual parents. They should be happy if they have one parent to take care of them.
6. We marry. Well, maybe not legally in the state we are living in, but we marry anyway. Legally in either another state or country, and religiously in any church that doesn't follow your particular brand of hateful interpretation.

So, what happens when you are successful in forcing a gay or lesbian to play heterosexual? Get this:

1. We exist. That we live a lie in a heterosexual prison called a 'loving' marriage does not change the fact we exist.
   
2. We have sex. Only when we really have to, and using some tricks so that we do not want to kill ourselves immediately after you are done. We might try to make a list of groceries we have to get later at walmart, or think about the cute blond chick at work that accidentally rubbed my hand and made us wet between the legs when we were waiting for her to be done with the copier, or think about the muscled construction worker at the corner of the street how he takes you from behind on a role of electric wire, etc. etc. etc. You get the gist, we won't be there with you, we will be there where we feel better than with having sex with you. But heck, I guess you won't care as long as you can fuck someone without having to pay for it.
   
3. We have relationships. Really, why do people cheat within a relationship? Guess? Because they do not get what they need? Well, that is one of the reasons. Think. Think harder, think harder what happens when someone is gay and forced to enjoy heterosexual torture? You get it. Just think about all those conservative 'heterosexual' men who were caught with a guy..... Just think what they were doing with those gays.... huh guys.
   
4. We live together. You got us there. Darn.
   
5. We have children. Of course, the heterosexual marching orders include that you have a child. Or two. Or three. And with a bit of luck, we only need one time sex for each child. But the best of all, we get to spread our GAY GENES! Thank you for helping us to pass on those gay genes! I know, you think that it is a choice, and as long as that you think that, we get to spread our genes. So, please, you think it is choice, and we spread the genes. Sounds like a good deal to me! At least, if we have to endure hetero sex, it is at least not for nothing.
   
6. We marry. And we are sooo happy. NOT. But thank to those men and women who have been carefully brainwashed with the idea that homosexuality can be cured if they are willing to marry one and help them overcome their abomination, we marry. And I know, you do not care if those selfless heterosexual souls get hurt sooner or later when their partner whon is really gay and not heterosexual cannot longer stand the heterosexual prison marriage and leaves her for a homosexual partner. Really, if you after 20 years of a love free, sex-free, passion-free marriage think he does not have passion, love etc, just wait till he does not have to deny himself any more. And please, no complaints please, you did it for God and Country. He will reward you in heaven. Isn't that wonderful.

Have a nice day!

Reclaiming Marriage

I think it is time that the same-sex couples of the US reclaim the word Marriage. When I read about the actual objections to same-sex marriage by religious people, it is because they consider the word marriage sacred and that it should be reserved for one man and one woman in accordance with their religious beliefs. This by itself is a huge problem for the sometimes non-existing separation between church and state, but I digress.

If marriage is so important for non-legal purposes, namely for religions, queers can reclaim the term similarly. Therefore, there is no limitation to use the word marriage in a religious context. The right-wing bigots can legislate away that that the government can use the word for the legal context because they want the exclusive right to use it as a religious word for opposite-sex marriages, but beyond that, they cannot prevent anything. So, we should start using it as much as possible, and let the world know that WE are MARRIED!

Selectivity with civil rights

Yesterday, I was once more reminded of the selectivity of people when it comes down to civil rights. When California voted for proposition 8, a large proportion came from African Americans, who should know better about civil rights. They still are struggling to get those honoured, but when it was time to support another group struggling with similar issues, they turned around and voted to uphold discriminatory practices against another group in society. The same thing you see with gay rights activists, who as easy turn around and bash another group they do not have affinity with. It sucks, but I fear it is the reality we have to deal with.

This man is one of the lowest creatures in the world, who was released for a few days by the Dutch court and disappeared.
Now he is protesting the publication of this image. Really? Go fuck yourself.

ADA: who is the problem?

So, once it has been established that discrimination takes place, how are you dealing with it. Often, the atmosphere at the workplace has been destroyed, and that often becomes an argument to continue exclusion of the person discriminated in the first place. However, is that the only solution? Well, no, because when discrimination takes place, there is the person that does the discriminating and the person that is discriminated against. So, once it has been established that discrimination takes place, the person doing the discrimination has to bone up and change their ways, and if they cannot, they should be removed from their position. That might hurt, but it is also the most effective way to ensure similar cases of discrimination won't happen again. In short, the target for resolution should be those that discriminate, not those that have been discriminated.

ADA: Miscommunication

I think many cases of discrimination are not intentional, but caused by stupid things such as miscommunication between people within an organisation. This is especially true for organisations without a clear structure on how to deal with all aspects. Organisations are bombarded with things they have to think about, react to, and each time, they have to do it right. Well, sometimes, that fails. Volunteer organisations are especially sensitive to this, as most volunteers learn on the job when it arises how to deal with specific aspects. And generally there is nothing wrong with that, unless that leads to for example discrimination of someone.

Good communication within an organisation is essential when someone asks for accommodation for a disability. From the initial request, such a request has to be passed on to the proper functionaries within that organisation, and they then have to act on it. This requires good communication between people. When this fails, the responsible functionaries can be genuinely ignorant about the request. When said functionary than moves on and ignore the request, the disabled person will feel unheard at least and might feel discriminated when the outcome is that the disabled person is for example excluded.

Miscommunication is not the end of the world. Shit happens. It becomes a big deal when it is defended, when the results of the miscommunication are attributed to the disabled person. That adds substantial grievance to the situation.

Fortunately, miscommunication can be dealt with. Once it is obvious that there was miscommunication, apologizing for it and straightening out what has gone wrong is often the only things what is needed. However, when that is not done, it add insult to injury and aggrevates the situation.

Gay marriage cost money!?!?!?

What the fuck! The retards of the GOP in the form of their token-black has found a new way to get support for their anti-gay message. It would cost money if gay-marriage would be legalized. True, but heterosexual marriage already costs money when your employee is married. So, what they are saying is effectively that it is okay if you have to pay for a heterosexual's partner, but not for a homosexual's partner. Really, they are actively promoting that the inequality is kept in place! They are actively promoting the discrimination of gay people over hetero-normative people!

PS. maybe we can use it as a argument to hire more gays, because they are cheaper.....

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" is a normal English sentence. It is also trademarked. Yes, TRADEMARKED. What is worse, I can now expect a cease and desist letter from the lawyer of Susan Jeffers, just like another blogger who just accidentally used it. Well, if blogger.com is going to remove it because of that (because I won't), I think the blogosphere does not have a problem to get it on so many non-American servers that she just will be paying a shipload of money for many many S&D letters. My guess is that it is a cheap way to get some publicity for her not so good selling book..... Let me say it this way, if she had written a good book, she would not need this kind of cheap publicity at the costs of a random blogger.

Opposing gay marriage to protect the children?

One frequent heard argument to object to gay marriage is that it is better for the children. lets assume for the moment that it is indeed true, despite that it is clearly not. Is a ban on gay marriage actually having an effect on where those children grow up? Not at all? The only difference is that they have two parents who are not married and have no rights, but for the rest, they will have two fathers or two mothers regardless. So, why oppose gay marriage if prohibiting gay marriage does not have an effect on where the children grow up?

Boycott Michael's Arts and Crafts store

Last Thursday, a friend of me was 'fired' from Michael's Arts and Craft Store in Tallahassee after she did not appreciate that colleague of her told her something along the line of: "You are probably gay and therefore should have been aborted." She walked out at that moment, and was the next day fired because she was unwilling to cooperate in a cover-up of the story.....

Anyway, there are several initiatives going on, but till that time, please, boycott Michael's in Tallahassee.

US disregards international law

The US has shown this week again that it does think it can disregard international treaties it signed itself. The State of Texas executed two foreigners (here and here) who have not been given access to their countries representation. Anyway, despite that, it does not change the fact that executing people is something for countries who are still living in medieval times... O wait, the US is in large part still a medieval country where religion trumps science, the majority believes that their christian god created earth (they are wrong, if a religious myth would be correct, it would be the Norse creation myth), etc. So, no surprise there.

What we have to wait for is a foreign country that seizes a American for similar reasons and denies them consular assistance. The world will be to small at that time. But heck, with kangaroo courts in Guantanamo bay for illegal held prisoners, who does still believe that the US is objective and fair?