Sunday, May 2, 2010

Satire: Rapist Family Therapy

Recently, I thought of a funny skit-like situation. For your enjoyment.

Judge: Ma'am, could you please tell the court what happened that faithful evening in the park.

Victim: Thank you Judge. I was walking through the park in the evening with Charlie, my Chihuahua, when this creep came out of the scrub and forced me into the bushes and forced me to have (gulp) .... to have..... to ... (weeping uncontrollably)

Judge: Sex?

Victim nods.

Judge: Ok Sir, what is your story?

Rapist: Well Sir, you know, I was waiting in the bushes for some hot chicks to come by. It is amazing how willingly they want to have sex with me once they have joined me ion the bushes. It is a nice private spot, and the women just love it. Miss (nudges to the victim) there was dressed like she really wanted to have sex in the park.

Judge: Ok, I see. Sounds like you two should talk with a counsellor together to figure out what you two want. I see you back as soon as you have reached agreement on what is mutually acceptable.

Victim: What? No way?

Judge: Ma'am, should I hold you in contempt of court? Would a week of jail help to make you go?

Victim (cowering) O, no your honour? I am sorry.

Rapist: Thank you judge!

(Counsellors office)
Counsellor: Sir, this woman claims you sexually abused her?

Rapist: No, it wasn't rape, she was scarcely dressed, so she wanted sex. That is not sexual abuse?

Victim: What? I did not want to have sex. My goodness, I never have sex with men, they disgust me.

Rapist: See, she is in denial. She just needs some good sex and she will like it all righthy...

(Victim starts crying)

Counsellor: Ok, I get the picture. Do you think we can find a middle ground between the two extreme points of view. What about oral sex, but not penetration with the penis? With that, you both win in part, and that is just the best way.... Don't you agree?

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